Fanfic The Katbox Presents... Emoticon Theater!

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Eradose

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Jun 1, 2009
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www.furaffinity.net
No, Anna. Not on MY BIRTHDAY you-

God damnit... too late....


*MOVING ON*

:gleeNekonny: Hey, Jacob! Why do down?
Well Anna pulled a prank on some of the girls in the Katbox universe and no one believes it's my birthday today.....
:dropNekonny: Did you ever think that maybe they're fooling you into thinking they don't believe you?
Trust me, I can tell when someone is trying to fool me on my birthday.
:dropNekonny: Oh..... I see then......
:amazeNekonny: Wait a second, did you just say Anna pulled a prank on the entire Katbox universe?!
Yeah.... If you think I'm pissed about it, just wait till you see Mr. AMP....
:dropNekonny: What happened to him?

*In Nekonny's imagination, we see Mr. AMP huddled in a corner crying to himself*
:crySnowman: They're gone.... They're gone.... They're gone... Anna made them disappear...... They're gone......

*cut back to Nekonny and Jacob*
:dropNekonny: Um.... You know what..... Nevermind.......
((In all honesty, Anna's not alone. Rachael, Tina, Pepper Ann, and all the other... "less endowed" girls are in on this. How else could the drug be spread across the Katbox... And Tumblr as well.

As for Mr Amp, he has other problems to deal with....))


*After commercial sign.*


:pointsSK: Dammit, last thing I remember was sitting at my desk, then... Everything goes black.

:pointsMiles: Same here. Of course, Tootsie and Boris closed this place down after Twilight Sparkle escaped. So, why would they...


*A light begins flashing on the console.*


:dropId: Well, the evil overlords are calling. You might want to hit that button and see what they want.

:linesSK: Okay, let's see who's behind this.


*They press the button on the console, and the view screen comes to life.*


:gleeCaroline: Well, well, well. Look who's awake.


:amazeSK: Caroline?!

:amazeId: You?!


:gleeCaroline: I must say my ether bombs worked quite well. Although do tell me if you still feel any side effects, like grogginess, loss of memory... things like that.

12.jpg The experiment is almost ready to begin, Dr. Caroline.

:gleeCaroline: Good. Now then, let me introduce one of my assistants, Leviathan.

:pointsCaroline: So Leviathan, how is my other assistant doing?

8.jpg Lazy bastard is still threading the projector.

:pointsCaroline: Well, you get what you pay for. And Mr. Amp isn't well know for being reliable.


:confuzzledSK: Wait... Mr. Amp is down there too?


:pointsCaroline: Yes. Of course, he's usually more useful as bait for when an experiment gets out of control.

:pointsSnowman: Gee, why don't you tell me what you really think about me?

:gleeCaroline: I take it the projector is threaded?

:pointsSnowman: Yes.

:pointsCaroline: Well, it seems you're good for something.


:dropId: And what's with the castle setting? Trying to go full tilt with the old mad scientist trope there?


:pointsCaroline: You try finding a good lab around here that has constant electrical storms and proper scientific equipment included.


:blushMiles: So Leviathan...


8.jpg Not interested.


:dropMiles: Ouch.


:gleeCaroline: Well, let's not waste any more time. You will be watching the movie version of The Phantom Creeps.

:pointsCaroline: I'd make you watch all four hours of film serials, but switching the film midway through testing is a bit of a chore. So get in the damn theater already.


*BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ*


:amazeId: We got movie sign!!!
 

Captain Video

Frontier Psychiatrist
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"No man can eat fifty Faberge eggs!"
Mail-Order Falcon
Part 11: A Challenger Arises

-A loud bar!-

*Mandy slams down a glass on the bar*

:confuzzledPichi: Same again, Ms. Cheng?
:cryCheng: YES!
:confuzzledParvani: Captain? That's your fifth rum and Tab. Saccharine is bad for you.
:pointsParvani: Also you're totally f---ing s---faced.
:furyCheng: I will drink... until SHUT UP!
:cryCheng: Doing all the drugs you can find on the same day is hard.
:gleeSnowman: Um... how do I fit into this again?
:gleeCheng: Oh, that part's easy. You're going to put a man through the two worst pains imaginable.
:furyCheng: You're going to audit and disembowel him!
:pointsParvani: Has to be in that order, though.
:happySnowman: Ah, gotcha.
:blushCheng: In fact... I think I'm going to call that dirtbag right now.
:pointsParvani: That is a very bad idea, captain.
:furyCheng: Barkeep! Does this dump have a phone?

*Thirty seconds later, in Idward's study, a gold-plated phone rings*

:confuzzledRexley: Um... hallo?
:blushCheng: Hello, is this Idward Fox?
:confuzzledRexley: Captain Cheng? No, this is Rexley.
:furyCheng: Idward, I hate you!
:amazeRexley: Captain, it's me-
:furyCheng: Save your beautiful lies and stuff them up your ass.
:furyCheng: I am going to come down there and audit the hell out of you.
:furyCheng: And then you'll DIE!

*click*

:amazeRexley:
Oh shit, the captain's gone mental.

*he puts the receiver back in the cradle, picks it up again and dials frantically*

:amazeRexley: C'mon, answer!
:killerCaroline: Hello! You've reached Madame Carol's Den of Pleasure!
:gleeCaroline: Press one to speak with a sexy young coed!
:gleeCaroline: Press two to speak with an experienced older woman!
:pointsCaroline:
:gleeCaroline: If you're using a rotary phone, just stay on the line and someone very sensual will be with you shortly.

:amazeRexley: ...Caroline?
:amazeCaroline: OH S---.
:amazeCaroline: Uh, hi, Perrin, what's up?
:amazeRexley: There's kind of an emergency down here and I need to talk with the security officer.
:amazeCaroline: What kind of kind of an emergency?
:amazeRexley: Captain Cheng has gone mad.
:confuzzledRexley: And where on the ship are you keeping those women?
:furyCaroline: They aren't real, they're both me doing different voices.
:confuzzledRexley: I... didn't know you were that kind of girl.
:furyCaroline: I'm not that kind of girl, I play that kind of girl for 95 cents a minute.
:amazeCaroline: Oh, here's Johan.
:furyCaroline: Tell anyone and I will KILL YOU.
:heartKissefello: Hey, what's up?
 
Likes: Ironfoot

Eradose

Outside contributer, not comunuty member.
Jun 1, 2009
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www.furaffinity.net
*Intermission 1*

:linesSK: Dammit, I could really use a beer right now. Being drunk may make this easier to bear.

:dropMiles: Yeah... Good luck with that. First off, you'd have to deal with Caroline, who probably doesn't want alcohol screwing her results.

:dropId: And second...

:sadDigit: I'm a minor.

:pointsSK: Dammit all.


:pointsCaroline: Indeed. We can't have any mood altering substances up there, so suck it up you big baby.

5.jpg Doctor, the package is here.

:gleeCaroline: Ah. Thank you Leviathan.


:confuzzledSK: Package?


:gleeCaroline: Yes, well you see, you're not the only scientific project I'm working on today. Inspired by this movie, I will be working on something that will aid me in my universal domination.

:pointsSnowman: It's a robot.

:furyCaroline: Damn you Mr Amp! It was supposed to be a surprise! Leviathan, shock to the shammys, NOW!


*Leviathan hits a switch, and immediately, Mr Amp takes a volt of electricity to his groin.*


:crySnowman:

:killerCaroline: Now you three. Get back in the theater before I give you all a shock to the shammys too!


*BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ*


:amazeSK: :amazeId: :amazeMiles: MOVIE SIGN!!!
 

Eradose

Outside contributer, not comunuty member.
Jun 1, 2009
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www.furaffinity.net
*Takes a quick scroll through the emoticon theater*
Ummm. The f***?
Not you. Different Leviathan.
((Indeed. This Leviathan is the Demon King of Envy, and a girl too.))


*Intermission 2*


:pointsSK: Okay, how do we escape?

:dropId: We tried before, there is no escape.

:pointsMiles: Not even an escape shuttle hidden in a box of hamdingers.

:confuzzledSK: What?

:pointsMiles: Don't ask.

:confuzzledSK: So, you two mentioned you've been up here before. How did you cope?

:dropId: My books.

:confuzzledSK: And you Miles?

:pointsMiles: Porn. Until it was thrown out.

:linesSK: I see...

:dropId: We could... play a board game or something until the movie starts again.

:pointsMiles: And what kind of nerdy board games do you got?

:furyId: They're not all "nerdy"!

:furyMiles: Oh, you want to go?!

:furyId: Bring it!


*Idward and Miles begin to fight.*


:pointsSK: We'll be right back.
 
Last edited:

Captain Video

Frontier Psychiatrist
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Sep 4, 2009
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Personal Text
"No man can eat fifty Faberge eggs!"
Caroline doing phone sex...? *Cannot wrap mind around it*
The heart and soul of my Emoticon Theater skits are the weird thoughts that come to me at odd times of the day. Today I randomly cracked up because of how funny I found the idea of a phone sex line having one of those phone tree menus that automatically sends you to the operator if you're using a rotary phone. And then I thought, Well, I'm working on Mail-Order Falcon; how can I work THIS into THAT?

And yeah, that's pretty much my whole creative process laid bare.
 

Eradose

Outside contributer, not comunuty member.
Jun 1, 2009
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((In case you weren't keeping track, I'm trying to recreate the Sci-Fi Channel era of MST3K with this skit. Caroline is Pearl, Leviathan is Brain Guy, and Mr Amp is Bobo.))

*End of show.*

:linesSK: Well, that movie felt rushed.

:dropId: Well, they were trying to cram 4 hours worth of serials into just over an hour and a half, so naturally a lot of scenes were cut.

:dropMiles: And what about that robot? It looked like something out of a Rob Zombie stage show.

:pointsSK: That's because it is, Miles. Rob Zombie was inspired by that to have the robot be part of his shows.

:dropId: Right, I remember something about that.

:dropMiles: Well, at least it's over.

:pointsSK: Well, let's hear what they have to say then...


:gleeCaroline: Is everything in preparation?

1.jpg Yes, doctor.

:gleeCaroline: Very well. Come to me, my robotic servant.


*Caroline puts a device on her wrist, and begins to manipulate the controls. Suddenly, a mechanical automaton begins to walk towards her.*


:killerCaroline: It works. IT WORKS! Soon I shall have an army of robots!

:amazeCaroline: Wait... what?!


*Suddenly, the robot stops taking commands, and then smoke begins to come from it before a small explosion comes from within it, completely destroying it.*


:pointsCaroline: Mr Amp... A word, if I may?

:squintSnowman: Uh... yes?

:pointsCaroline: When assembling the core unit, did you follow the instructions exactly?

:pointsSnowman: Of course I did! Even connecting the green port wire to the central core unit.

:furyCaroline: IDIOT! It was the yellow port wire, not green!

:amazeSnowman: Oh... Uh... Oops?

11.png Doctor, may I have the pleasure of punishing this incompetent?

:gleeCaroline: By all means, Leviathan.


*Leviathan presses a button, and Mr Amp finds himself being ejected out of the castle...*


:amazeSnowman: CAN'T YOU TAKE A JOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!


*Splat into the swamp.*


(End)
 

MrAMP

No. 1 Fun Guy
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Too much TMI...Too much TMI!!!
:amazeSnowman: OH GAWD!
:crySnowman: There's swamp stuff all over me.
:happySnowman: Well, at least it can't get any--
:heartMary:
:amazeSnowman:
:amazeSnowman: TENTACLE SWAMP MONSTER!?
:crySnowman: Why me?

And now for Part 2 of 5 of our very special The Random Moment!
Featuring :squintSnowman: Am I really that obscene? as Mr. AMP and everyone else as themselves.
In: Where's Mr. AMP (Part 2 of 5)

*After what seems like a week or so of therapy for those horrible mental images that Mora put into her head, Sunny is seen frantically going through some paperwork on her desk.*
:gleeSunny: Okay, let's see here.
*Whimper*Oh man...I thought there would be some sort of clue here about this Mr. AMP.
:confuzzledSunny: His name still sounds familiar.
:gleeSunny: But...nothing.
:teaseSunny: Hm...
:confuzzledSunny: Maybe I should put out one of those wanted posters.

*Sunny daydreams about putting up wanted posters in a local Old Western Bar.*
:amazeTinaW: Score!!!
:gleeTinaW: Another bounty is up on the board.

*Tina reads the poster.*
:pointsTinaW: Wanted: Mr. AMP.
:pointsTinaW: Cash Reward $500.
:pointsTinaW: It doesn't say dead or alive...
:pointsTinaW: And it doesn't say if he's dangerous...
:amazeTinaW: SWEET!
*Pulls out her Winchester.*
:grinTinaW: Time to use lethal force!!!

*Back to Sunny's reality.*
:sunnyAmaze: *Gulp* Maybe not the best idea.
:XDSunny: Perhaps I should call the po--

*Sunny unfortunately remembers that one Humon Special that Mr. AMP created a few months ago.*
:furyAlice: Alice...ALICE!!!
BANG BANG BANG

:sunnyAmaze: Bark!!!
:shySunny: I need an Id--

*And from behind the doorway, this guy pops out.*
:heartId: Did someone say my name.
:sunnyAmaze: BARK!!!
:shySunny: I was about to say idea.
:gleeId: Close enough!
:heartId: You should go here then.

*Id hands Sunny a business card. Sunny takes a quick glance at it.*
:confuzzledSunny: The High Prime Strip Club?
:shySunny: I wonder if Ambar knows of this.
:gleeSunny: I didn't think he was...
:confuzzledSunny: Wait...how did you get this?
:amazeId:
:dropId: I totally don't go with him every Saturday...I SWEAR!!!
:shySunny: Right...
 

Captain Video

Frontier Psychiatrist
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Sep 4, 2009
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Personal Text
"No man can eat fifty Faberge eggs!"
:amazeSnowman: OH GAWD!

*Tina reads the poster.*
:pointsTinaW: Wanted: Mr. AMP.
:pointsTinaW: Cash Reward $500.
:pointsTinaW: It doesn't say dead or alive...
:pointsTinaW: And it doesn't say if he's dangerous...
:amazeTinaW: SWEET!
*Pulls out her Winchester.*
:grinTinaW: Time to use lethal force!!!
I love this part. I always love when people connect the dots and they actually speed up as they're doing it.
 

Eradose

Outside contributer, not comunuty member.
Jun 1, 2009
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320
www.furaffinity.net
:gleeCaroline: Mr AMP, that you for "volunteering" for my experiment.

:furySnowman: Volunteer nothing! You kidnapped me, and stuck me into...

:pointsSnowman: Whatever the hell this thing is.

:gleeCaroline: It is my audiomoleculor transporter, and you're going to be the first one to use it.

:pointsSnowman: Something tells me you have no idea what this will do.

:gleeCaroline: Oh ye of little faith in the scientific method. If this thing works as it should, you should be transported to the chamber on other side of the room.

:pointsCaroline: And if not, well... you can regenerate from being atomized, right?

:amazeSnowman: ATOMIZED?!

:killerCaroline: FIRE IN THE HOLE!

:crySnowman: WAIT!!!


*Caroline is about to pull the switch, when suddenly a cat jumps into the device with Mr AMP, and disappears when the device is activated.*


:confuzzledCaroline: Well, that was unexpected.

:pointsSnowman: Uh... Am I still in one piece?

:confuzzledCaroline: Well, according to the scans, you're missing part of one rib.

:pointsSnowman: So that's why I feel like shit right now. So where the hell did it go? ...And that cat for that matter.


*The device opens up, and lying on the ground is a naked Nekocat that looks like a female Mr. AMP.*


:pointsCaroline: Okay.... Unexpected. Scans indicate that, other than being cat like, she has 99% of your DNA.

:pointsSnowman: So... she's like a copy of me.

:pointsCaroline: In essence, yes.

:handsomeSnowman: Sweet.
 

Eradose

Outside contributer, not comunuty member.
Jun 1, 2009
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((Well, let's make this situation even more awkward, shall we?))


:confuzzledCaroline: Well, I'm not entirely sure how this happened.

:pointsCaroline: Oh well. Let's put the body on ice for emergency rations for father.

:amazeSnowman: You're going to feed her to Boris?!

:pointsCaroline: Well, there have been no signs of life for over 25 minutes, so...


:pointsSnowman: Ugh... My head. Dammit Caroline, was your machine supposed to make me feel like I'm hung over?


:amazeSnowman: :amazeCaroline:


:squintSnowman: And why dose my chest feel so...
:amazeSnowman: WHAT THE HELL?! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! My ATB should have prevented...
:crySnowman: Wait... How am I standing over there? What's going on?


:gleeCaroline: Interesting... Not only dose she have your DNA, but she also has a complete copy of your memories too.

:pointsCaroline: Although I suppose your ATB is the reason you weren't merged with her in the first place.

:pointsSnowman: Okay, this is getting awkward...[DOUBLEPOST=1396911338,1396852148][/DOUBLEPOST] gleeanna.gif Hey, you want to play a game with me?

:confuzzledCaroline: What kind of game. It seems strange to be asking father and myself.

dropanna.gif Well, rumor has it this game stumped the legendary Bill Gates, although his colleagues figured it out.

:amazeBoris: Wait... A game Bill Gates couldn't figure out?!

gleeanna.gif Yes. It goes by many names, but it's most often called "Peddles Around the Rose" or "Bears Around the Ice Hole". Now, the name is important here. I will also tell you the result of any dice roll, and the answer will always be an even number or zero. You're job is to figure out how I come up with the results and enter the inner circle. So let's begin.



gleeanna.gif The answer is 10.

:confuzzledCaroline: How is that 10? I count 19.

:dropBoris: There's a trick to this. There must be. After all, how can there be a result of 0 for this game, or how they're all even number results.


gleeanna.gif The answer is 4.

:confuzzledBoris: So... four...

:confuzzledCaroline: Okay, is it something to do with the even numbers... Or maybe what is on the other side of each die?

dropanna.gif All good theories, but not even close.


gleeanna.gif So, any guesses?

:dropBoris: 4?

:confuzzledCaroline: 6?

gleeanna.gif Nope. The answer is zero.

:amazeBoris: :amazeCaroline: Zero?!

:furyCaroline: Dammit this is really bugging me!

:pointsRexley: What is going on here.

gleeanna.gif Oh, we're playing "Peddles Around the Rose".

:pointsRexley: Huh?


gleeanna.gif Care to guess the answer?

:gleeRexley: Oh, "Doubloons Around the Treasure Chest". I remember playing this. The answer is 10 by the way.

:amazeBoris: How the hell did you figure that out?!

:dropRexley: All I'll say is that you're too smart for your own good.

:furyCaroline: TELL US THE SECRET!

:pointsRexley: Sorry, I can't have you live the guilt of not figuring it out on your own. Remember, regardless of what it is called, the name is what matters.

:cryBoris: Dammit, this is going to bug the hell out of me.


((DO NOT POST HOW THIS TRICK WORKS! FIGURE IT OUT ON YOUR OWN, OR YOU'RE JUST A CHEAT AND LIAR!))
 
Last edited:

Urien Lævateinn

Knight- Errant
Feb 29, 2012
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Really? This is easy. Never heard of the game before but figured it out before the second roll.

Sometimes it pays to have a schizophrenic fire breathing cat in your head.
 

MrAMP

No. 1 Fun Guy
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Apr 17, 2011
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Personal Text
Too much TMI...Too much TMI!!!
So Caroline created Eve from the rib of AMP and a cat. >>; Fascinating.
:handsomeSnowman: Why yes Nixie, and she did this with actual science.
:happySnowman: It actually turned out much better than my fusion of a cat and rabbit.



:squintSnowman: She...she scratched my face so hard.

Don't you do it Mr. AMP.... I know what you're thinking right now! Don't go full redneck!
:amazeSnowman:
:furySnowman: Come on dude...I have standards!!!
:handsomeSnowman: Although I will say that she's pretty--
:amazeSnowman: OMG!!!

Is that what they're calling it these days.
:gleeSnowman: Well, it could've been worse.
:handsomeSnowman: I could've ended up like Hawke.
:happySnowman: Thanks ATB!!!

*A few seconds later.*
:squintSnowman: Wait a minute...
:squintSnowman: Don't I need all my--
:amazeSnowman: GAH!!!

*Mr. AMP falls down to the floor and is seen rolling around in pain*
:crySnowman: Oh god Caroline....
:crySnowman: Why...why...

*With a lack of science or explanation, Caroline has switched out her lab coat to a dominatrix outfit and a leather whip.*
:killerCaroline: Because I enjoy inflicting pain.
SFX: Whip Crack
:amazeSnowman:
:crySnowman: That would be so hot if it weren't for the fact that I'm in incredible pain.