Fanfic The Katbox Presents... Emoticon Theater!

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Eradose

Outside contributer, not comunuty member.
Jun 1, 2009
4,256
320
www.furaffinity.net
*The Katbox hotsprings trip.*


:heartKimi: I never realize this could feel so good.

:dropYuki: Yeah, might not want to say things like that out loud. The guys on the other side can get the wrong idea.

:gleeMora: Nothing like a good drink, hot water, and good friends...

:pointsMora: Mostly speaking.


3.png What's the black kitty doing with her towel still on? Take it off already.

:wutRachael: No. I'll keep it on, thank you.

6.png Oh, it's coming off. The easy way, or the hard way.

:amazeRachael: HEY! OKAY, OKAY! EASY WAY! EASY WAY!

:grinNina: With Reiko around, no one needs a towel.

:pointsAlex:

:pointsTinaW: She's really swings both ways, don't she?

:pointsCaroline: Just keep her far away from me.


I hate most of you right now.

Again with your boob envy, Anna?

:pointsMihari: And why are you two here?

We're regulars on Emoticon Theater. We're like...

Anna, please don't say it.

"Unoffical Katbox characters".

Anna, talk like that pisses off the admins.

:gleeOmega: Don't sweat it. I'm here too.


6.png Now then, let's see the beefcake show on the other side.

:dropAlej: What are you doing?! Get down from there!

Hey, I want to take part of the peep show too!

Me too! Me too!


:amazeDavin: What the...?!

:grinDrake: I was just think of looking over the fence, but it looks like the girls got the same idea.

2.png Come on guys! Loose those towels! Let's see some man meat!

:blushQuick: Not again Reiko... I don't think I can survive another "Operation Squirrel Toss".

:confuzzledMiles: What?

:shockedQuick: Don't ask.

Skyler emote.png Well, I'm not one to disappoint. Feast your eyes, ladies!


*Skyler pulls off his towel.*


:shockedQuick: Averting my eyes! Averting my eyes!

:amazeBoris: How is that biologically possible?!

:dropNekonny: What the hell do you feed that thing?!

:dropMiles:


8.png Oh yeah! Just as I remember! Hey girls, check this out!

:amazeJoy: What the..?!

:amazeToots: Holy mother of Macross!

:confuzzledSunny: How is that...?

How can a mere mortal man be blessed in such a way? He puts Den to shame!

:amazeTaffy: It's so... big!

It's like a pringles can!

:dropRachael: How are you still able to walk?!


:heartAnn: That's nothing. Davin, show them!

:gleeDavin: With pleasure!


*Davin takes his towel off.*


7.png Oh yes! That's another great one!

8.png Hey, you girls wouldn't be interested in...

:pointsAnn: :dropAngel: :pointsTiare: No!

Please, I bet Miles can put them all to shame.

:dropMiles: Anna, although you have some great confidence in me, I think it's misplaced.

Nonsense. Now, open your mouth and shut up.

:confuzzledMiles: Wait, what do you need me to open my mouth...


*Anna tosses a pill into Miles' mouth, which he accidentally swallows.*


:amazeMiles:

Direct hit.


*Suddenly...*


:heartNina: Oh my!

:feralnummyGeecku:

:blushHope: I... don't remember him being that big...

:dropMira: Me neither...

:wutRachael:


4.png Well, you're quite the sneaky little devil. Where did you find those little beauties?

I'll introduce you to my potions distributor sometime.


:dropMiles: Uh... How long is this going to last?

Hour. Hour and a half tops.

:dropMiles: Great... How am I going to put my pants back on?

6.png Why would you want to?[DOUBLEPOST=1390898916,1390891151][/DOUBLEPOST]
*Mr. AMP picks up a copy of Webcomic Tabloid Weekly*
:squintSnowman: Hm...
:squintSnowman: I can't help but feel that this is somehow my fault.

Okay Mr AMP, put down the magazine. It's time to get you out of that body cast, and give you a sponge bath.
 
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MrAMP

No. 1 Fun Guy
Moderator
Apr 17, 2011
5,979
1,589
31
USA
Personal Text
Too much TMI...Too much TMI!!!
:handsomeSnowman: SCORE!!!

Show your appreciation for this next The Random Moment!
Featuring :handsomeSnowman: Appreciation!!! as Mr. AMP and everyone else as themselves.
Special appearances from our Web Mistress and Writer of Caribbean Blue herself :heartMihari: Mihari and Caribbean Blue Artist & Writer :musicKBNekonny: Nekonny!!!
In: Appreciation

*Mr. AMP logs off from one of Chalo’s many LiveStreams.*
:happySnowman: Well, that was a fun get together.
:gleeSnowman: Although…I kind of feel bad about my behavior and what Mihari said and what not.
:squintSnowman: If only there was a way for us to show her our appreciation for everything she has done for the KatBox.

*Mr. AMP looks around his home office in though until his eye catches a cardboard box with “Mr. AMP Investments, LLC, RTT” written on one of the sides.*
:squintSnowman: Hm…

*Mr. AMP walks over to the box in order to properly examine the contents. He discovers that he has two more RTT packages from his successful endeavor into that product.*
:pointsSnowman: Hm…
:shadesSnowman: Yeah, this could work.

The next day…
*It is a bright and glorious sunny day as Mihari awakens from a good night’s sleep from her queen size bed in her 2,000 square foot house overlooking the ocean. After an early morning stretch and a quick rinse off, Mihari dries herself off and dawns her new, silk, loose cut, lavender robe just in time to enjoy a hot cup of green tea.*
SFX: SIP
:heartMihari: AAAHHHHH!!!
:gleeMihari: There’s nothing like green tea to put a pep in my--

SFX: KNOCK KNOCK
:pointsMihari: Hm…
:confuzzledMihari: Who could that be?

*Mihari turns to her new digital clock that reads 10:00 am with a temperature of 78 degrees Fahrenheit.*
:confuzzledMihari: And at this hour too?

*Mihari walks over to the door to see who it is; however, she can only see golden fur and a standard brown UPS uniform.*
:gleeMihari: Who is it?
?????Special delivery miss.

:confuzzledMihari: Special delivery?
:amazeMihari: OH MY!
:gleeMihari: It must be the all new Mihari Figurine from ShapeWays!

*Mihari frantically opens up the door. To her surprise, the delivery man is Toby. He is in fact holding a box.*
:confuzzledMihari: Toby?
:gleeToby: Yes miss, I have a package…

*Toby tosses the box and tears off his clothes to reveal Mr. AMP’s Investments, LLC’s, RTT. He strikes a sexy pose.*
:heartToby: From Appreciation Station.
:amazeMihari: :blushMihari:

????? And by the way doll…
*Davin emerges from behind the doorway also wearing the standard brown UPS uniform until he tears it off to reveal Mr. AMP’s Investments, LLC’s, RTT. He too strikes a sexy pose.*
:heartDavin: It’s a double package.

:amazeMihari: :amazeMihari: :amazeMihari:
:blushMihari: Oh my…I…

:happySnowman: Heyo Mihari!
:amazeMihari: Mr. AMP!?
:pointsMihari: I should’ve--

:confuzzledMihari: Wait a minute…how did you even get inside my house?
:gleeSnowman: You can do anything with a brick.

*The scene shifts to a broken glass door. The estimated damage is about $2,157.98.*
:amazeMihari: MY DOOR!?
:furyMihari: WHAT’S THE MEANING OF THIS!?

:gleeSnowman: Well, I know you were feeling down and what not and thought that we should show you some more appreciation for everything you do for us.
:happySnowman: And what better way is there than--

:furyMihari: THIS ISN’T WHAT I MEANT!?
:squintSnowman: It isn’t?

:furyMihari: NO!!!
:furyMihari: A simple thanks or a like once in awhile would work.

:amazeSnowman: Ohhh…
:gleeSnowman: In that case, I’m s--

:furyMihari: SAVE IT!!!
:furyMihari: JUST…JUST GO!!!

:squintSnowman: Fine…
:pointsSnowman: Come guys. So--

:furyMihari: OH NO!
:furyMihari: YOU TWO STAY HERE!

:pointsDavin: Great…we’re in trouble.
:pointsToby: Yeah, thanks a lot Mr. AMP.

*Sulking, Mr. AMP walks out the door as Mihari launches a verbal barrage of rage and scorn towards Davin and Toby, both depressed and sulking in embarrassment and fear.*
:furyMihari: YOU TWO SHOULD’VE--

*Mr. AMP closes the door behind him and walks down the road.*
*Five hours later, Mr. AMP returns to Mihari’s house carrying some sort of small box. Nekonny is right behind him with some sort of basket with two balloons tied to it and floating above.*
:happySnowman: Thanks again for the idea Nekonny.
:gleeSnowman: I had no idea that Taffy would part ways with her favorite shampoo for the shampoo basket she made for her and how quickly she whipped this Mihari cake up. I still can’t believe it cost only $5USD!

:gleeKBNekonny: No problem Mr. AMP.
:XDKBNekonny: I’m always happy to fix your screw ups.
:squintSnowman: Geez…thanks.

:handsomeSnowman: Well, no sense feeling bad about that.
:happySnowman: Time to…

*Before Mr. AMP could press the doorbell, the door creeks open.*
:gleeSnowman: Hm…

*Mr. AMP pushes the door opened to reveal the two standard brown UPS uniforms still on the ground.*
:dropKBNekonny: What the…
:XDKBNekonny: OH MAN!

:XDKBNekonny: Based on what you told me, she was probably so upset that she probably had those two walk out of here with nothing but your RTT.
:happySnowman: HA!
:gleeSnowman: That’s probably true…that’s probably true.

*Seeing as how the door was opened, Mr. AMP and Nekonny let themselves in, closing and locking the door behind them. They start to head into the main living room, which is adjacent to the opened kitchen.*
:gleeSnowman: Hey Mihari, it’s me again.
:handsomeSnowman: Look, I came by to drop some stuff off to apologize for my incompet--

*Wondering closer and closer to Mihari’s bedroom, both Mr. AMP and Nekonny hear a squeaking noise. They look to their right to see nothing running in the laundry room.*
:squintSnowman: Hm…
:squintSnowman: Davin and Toby’s clothes still here…
:squintSnowman: No response from calling her name out loud…
:squintSnowman: And a steady squeaking noise coming from her bedroom…
:happySnowman: Well, these are obviously not signs that I shouldn’t open this door and say…

*Mr. AMP opens Mihari’s bedroom door.*
:happySnowman: Hey Mihar--
:amazeSnowman: OH MY GOD!?!?

WARNING!!!
Due to back massage…You know what; you know what’s going on. So moving on.

And that’s how we got this cake.
*Mr. AMP is eating a piece of Mihari cake on top of the buffet counter as an annoyed Nekonny stares at him.*
:pointsKBNekonny:

:pointsKBNekonny: Mr. AMP…you do realize that we’re still in her house, right?
:squintSnowman: Uhhh…

:pointsKBNekonny: And I was there the entire time?
:squintSnowman: Uhhh…

:dropKBNekonny: And I approved this before you could post it?
:squintSnowman: Uhhh…

:dropKBNekonny: And the last part happened five minutes ago?
:squintSnowman: Uhhh…

:cryKBNekonny: And Mihari is standing right behind you with her arms crossed in her lavender robe giving you the stare of death, indicating that she is even more PO’ed at you then before and that I’ll somehow be dragged into your punishment?
*Mr. AMP turns around to see Mihari in that stance.*
:pointsMihari:
:squintSnowman: Uhhh…

*Insert Mihari's response.*
 

Eradose

Outside contributer, not comunuty member.
Jun 1, 2009
4,256
320
www.furaffinity.net
I think Mr AMP needs to start wearing an orange parka, and change his name to Kenny. Or a giant wasp suit and call himself Waspinator.

Now then, kids do say the darnedest things, don't they?


Crud. Life can be unfair sometimes.

:gleeTaffy: Xenobia? I haven't seen you in a while. What's the matter.

I got to take a month off my Health Studies class. Apparently the teacher feels "uncomfortable" teaching the materials with me in the room.

:wutTaffy: Uncomfortable?

Come on, I'm in the 8th grade, and I've known where babies come from since I was six years old.

:amazeTaffy: Oh... OH! You mean sex ed!

:happyTaffy: Well, darling... You are just a little 10 year old girl after all. So maybe it's not entirely appropriate...

Not you too! Come on, I've probably seen most of what he's teaching in the medical journals I've read. Like this one report I read a week ago about...


*A little while later.*


And that's just a few of the myths about the...

:wutTaffy: I... I think I heard enough. I need to lie down, and question my innocence.


*Sigh* Some people just can take this medical stuff sometimes.
 

Chaos Sepher

Gallery Volunteer
Mar 2, 2008
4,124
495
33
New Jersey
Hypothetical scenario based on the latest LL comic. Posted this in the comic thread but wanted to share it here too.

*knock knock*
:amazeTaffy: Gah! *Wakes up in bed startled*
*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*
:doomfaceTaffy: *groan* I'm coming, I'm coming! *opens door*
:gleeMora: Hi, Taffy.
:amazeTaffy: Mora! It's *looks over at clock* It's 2AM!
:gleeMora: I know, but I just need a midnight snack, and you know what I am craving right now?
:pointsTaffy: Mora, I am not making you royal shrimp casserole again, especially at this ungodly hour.
:XDMora: C'mon Taf, I am sorry Sunny didn't work out, but I did warn ya. Now get those bunny buns into the kitchen.
:wutTaffy: But-
*someone else rises out of Taffy's bed sheets*
:pointsRandal: *Ugh* Taffy, she isn't gonna let up and it will be faster just to give her what she wants already.
:cryTaffy:
 
Likes: Ironfoot

MrAMP

No. 1 Fun Guy
Moderator
Apr 17, 2011
5,979
1,589
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USA
Personal Text
Too much TMI...Too much TMI!!!
So this is what.... Mr. AMP's 12th time being banned this year now XD
It's a new world record!
:furySnowman: Oh...COME ON PEOPLE!
:gleeSnowman: I haven't been banned that many times.
:handsomeSnowman: I mean yeah there was that one time...
:gleeSnowman: And that other time when I...
:pointsSnowman:
:happySnowman: So only 12 then? That's not bad considering what I've done publicly and privately.
:crySnowman: Please don't tell the admins. T_T
:handsomeSnowman: I brought panca--
:heartTiggs: PANCAKES!!!
:amazeSnowman: OH DEAR GOD
:crySnowman: HELP!!!
 
Likes: Captain Video

Eradose

Outside contributer, not comunuty member.
Jun 1, 2009
4,256
320
www.furaffinity.net
(Another Eradose/Mr Amp collaboration.)


Hey Mr AMP. Now that you're out of the clinic, what are your thoughts about the upcoming Sly Cooper movie?

:happySnowman: Hey Anna!

:squintSnowman: And thanks for totally not pulling the plug and killing me like I asked.

:furySnowman: Seriously, I could've been out of there by now thanks to my resurrection technique!

:happySnowman: Although I didn't mind those sponge baths with those sexy nurses.

:amazeSnowman: Oh right...the movie!

:squintSnowman: I'm not going to lie, but I'm half and half on this one.

:handsomeSnowman: On the one hand, I'm totally looking forward to it as I'm a huge fan of the Sly Cooper franchise.

:pointsSnowman: But, based on the trailer, it's done in some okay kind of graphic.

:pointsSnowman: They've bastardized the character's personality.

:pointsSnowman: And for some reason, if Carmelita joins in, they'll totally just blow her body out of proportion.

Well, I don't know about that. Being that this is probably going to be PG at most, I don't think she'll be exaggerated that much, if at all.

:squintSnowman: I guess that's true....

:pointsSnowman: But still, you know someone's going to introduce her with "endowed" qualities.

You're making it sound like they're going to make her look like Mora.

:squintSnowman: I hate to be that guy, but I just know there's someone out there somewhere that's going to blow her all out of proportion.

:happySnowman: But hey, would that really be a bad thing?

confuzzledanna.gif Wait... You're saying you want to see her like that?

:shadesSnowman: You know it girl...

:amazeSnowman: I mean NO!!!

:amazeSnowman: YES!!!

:pointsSnowman:

:amazeSnowman: AMNESIA POWDER GO!!!


*Mr. AMP throws amnesia powder on Anna.*


pointsanna.gif Mr AMP, I'm an android. That shit won't work on me. Besides, it's not like I'm just gonna tell her.

:amazeSnowman: Oh snap! I completely forgot about that.

:crySnowman: Quick! Run away!!!

:amazeQuick: Coming!!!


*As Mr AMP runs away, he slams right into a familiar set of boobs.*


Of course, I didn't say anything about her being right behind you.

13.png

:amazeSnowman: Gah...

:squintSnowman: Yeah...I really should've seen this one coming.

8.png And who, may I ask, are you? You need to watch where you're going.

:gleeSnowman: Yes ba---

:amazeSnowman: OFFICER!!! I said officer!!!


*Mr. AMP backs away slowly and walks towards the exit.*


20.png What was his problem?

Hell if I know...


*Mr. AMP frantically runs outside.*


:gleeSnowman: Oh thank god, she didn't hear me say anything about her potentially massive cans.

:handsomeSnowman: And rocky curves and

:happySnowman: Yep, I totally managed to get out of this unscathed.

:squintSnowman: Wait...


*Mr. AMP feels his pocket to discover a bug.*


:amazeSnowman:

:squintSnowman: Please tell me Anna did not just bug me?

9.png No, you took the one I was planning to use on Sly.

22.png And after what I heard you say... *Cracks knuckles.*

:squintSnowman: I don't suppose we could talk about this.

:handsomeSnowman: Over dinner sweetie.


*Mr.AMP get's up close and personal to Carmelita and pulls out a rose. Unfortunately, in his rush, his hand placement is on her buttox.*


14.png

38.png

*One savage incident of police brutality later...*


You're just really unlucky, aren't you Mr AMP... At least she only beat you up, not kill you like the other girls that you've pissed off on here.

:crySnowman: Please...pull...the pl--


*Mr. AMP passes out.*


pointsanna.gif I'll get the nurse...


Oh dear, Mr AMP. You only just left, and now you're back here again.


I got his insurance on file. I'll get to processing it.


I'll get his medicine ready.[DOUBLEPOST=1391156165,1391147688][/DOUBLEPOST]:gleeTiare: Tiare Mehran, Nano-Zell technician. Final report on research on the E-002 project...

:pointsTiare: I first met subject E-002, designated "Anna", a while back after an incident where she had overheated, and had gone into a stasis lock. The effect has changed some of the pigment in her synthetic hair from brown to blue. But at the time, there seemed to be no major effect on her core AI or any of her systems.

:gleeTiare: However, as I began to look through her AI, I began to find anomalies. Ones I could not explain. I copied the data for research later and took time to look over these and compare them to known anomalies in Resident Spirits. Although Resident Spirits are not AI, there were some similarity I could compare to.

:pointsTiare: But, as I continued to look into these, and even performing regular check ins with E-002, I began to find that these anomalies were something far more that what I originally thought.

:blushTiare: I still do not understand what I saw during my last check. A memory, maybe? Or, perhaps something more... Even my very limited knowledge of this "Magetech" cannot account for what I saw.

:pointsTiare: That is why I am now erasing all data into my research, and writing off the overheat as a freak electrical problem.

:wutTiare: I have opened Pandora's Box, and now I must close it. Just... what is she? The very conclusion I could come up with... I dare not even say. It makes no sense, and it shakes the very foundation of what we know about AI, taking it to the possibilities of... It scares me. I don't even think she is aware of what she really is.

:gleeTiare: End log.
 
Likes: MrAMP

Flyboy1945

Creator of Jay, Time Travelling Master of Reality
Feb 29, 2012
542
21
27
Traveling the Multiverse.
Personal Text
Among the few with a human-like persona.
Tread lightly Tiare.


In the meantime...
A Wacky Adventure in Las Lindas Multipart Series!

Featuring: :gleeSunny: :gleeMiles: :gleeRandal: And :gleeTaffy:
With special Guest Star Jay
(who was nice enough to take time out of his busy schedule)

Jay: HEY! I was in the middle of something!

I'm sure you'll be fine.

In...
Back In Time Part 1!


Another beaut-
*BOOM*
Er, RAINY day in Las Lindas! Where Jay finds himself along with Miles, Sunny, Randal and Taffy...

:furyMiles: : AUGH!!!!

...Bored out of their skulls.

Jay: Well, we could all go on another one of my "Special Trips."

:pointsRandal: : Absolutely not.
Jay: Okay, so I miss the intended planet ONCE and you can never let it go. How was I supposed to know Alderaan was blown to bits.
:furyMiles: : We almost DIED from NO AIR.
Jay: And yet you didn't you're still here aren't you?
:teaseSunny: : No field trips!
Jay: Alternatively, I could call Anna instead...
:doomfaceTaffy: :furyMiles: :pointsRandal: :teaseSunny: : NO!
Jay: Or maybe see if Mr AMP is available...
:doomfaceTaffy: :furyMiles: :pointsRandal: :teaseSunny: : NO!
Jay: Well, I'm out of ideas, aside from where to go.

Sunny, Taffy, Randal, and Miles all look at each other.

:doomfaceTaffy: : I guess we'll take the trip.
Jay: Great! I know precisely where to go.
:pointsRandal: : This time, can you please keep it inside this universe?
Jay: Sure, that still leaves plenty to visit.

Jay tears open his signature portal.

Jay: Ladies first.

Sunny and Taffy step through the portal followed by Miles and Randal.

:amazeTaffy: : Where are we?
:sunnyAmaze: : Woof! I was going to ask you the same question.
:confuzzledMiles: : What the...
:confuzzledRandal: : Jay, where are we?
Jay: Not where, when!
:dropMiles: : Gods, that joke is so old.
Jay: Hey, it's a classic! Anyway we are in the United States Circa the 1960s!
:amazeRandal: :amazeMiles: :sunnyAmaze: :amazeTaffy: : What!?
Jay: Yep, 1964 to be exact, and come to think about it, we've got a show to catch.
:confuzzledSunny: : A show?
Jay: See, I landed us in here for a reason, we're at the 1964 premier of the Beatles.
:pointsMiles: : Hate to burst your bubble, but won't we look, I dunno, out of place?
Jay: Don't worry, the people can definitely see you, but don't know that you're really Primes, to them, you're just regular American Humans. Remember? I've got reality bending powers. Now come on! The show's gonna start!

*Insert Back to the Future theme here*
(To Be Continued in Part 2!)
 
Last edited:

Merrick Rose

Katbox Forum Member
Apr 20, 2007
1,119
63
31
Tuscaloosa, AL
Personal Text
I like the way you die, boy.
Splinter Cell Co-Op Theater

When America needs a hero...

When freedom stands alone...

When justice needs to be upheld... There's only one place to turn.

Through the cover of night, America's top agents will defend our liberty from those who wish us harm.

Let us join Special Agent Bob... :gleeMiles:

And Secret Agent Steve. :gleeSnowman:

Two of the finest official unofficial Splinter Cells.

Episode 1

*We join Bob and Steve on assignment in a foreign Vice President's mansion, with Steve currently attempting to hack a computer.*
:gleeSnowman: Once I get these files, we'll find the Vice President and get out of here.
:gleeMiles: *Shoots the computer for no reason.*
:amazeSnowman: Dude!
:confuzzledMiles: What?
:furySnowman: You're an idiot! Now we have to find another terminal!
:dropMiles: Come on, don't be pissed. Steve? Steve, it was a joke.

*A little later, they're right behind two guards watching a soccer game.*
:gleeMiles: You want to play Navy SEALs?
:pointsSnowman: No.
:heartMiles: Come on. I'll be Charlie Sheen. and you can be whoever else was in that movie.
*They line up their shots, shoot the guards, and start to watch the game.*
:gleeMiles: I think Bill Paxton was in that movie. You can be him!
:pointsSnowman: I'm not playing Navy SEALs. And Bill Paxton was not in that movie. *Shoots the TV.*
:furyMiles: Dude!
:pointsSnowman: What? Let's finish the job.

*About ten minutes later, Bob and Steve are in a sewer tunnel under the mansion, hanging on a pipe above a guard on his patrol.*
:pointsSnowman: Can we just drop it? He wasn't in the movie. *He snaps the guard's neck when he walks under him.*
:amazeMiles: JESUS! Did you really need to kill him?!
:furySnowman: What?!
:pointsMiles: Dude, this guy had the shit job of patrolling the sewer, and you just go and break his neck?
*Steve picks the guard's body up.*
:confuzzledMiles: Wait. Wait, what are you doing?
:gleeSnowman: *He drops the body down a shaft.* Goodbye, sewer boy.

*A little bit later, Steve is admiring a large fossil of a prehistoric fish hanging on a wall.*
:gleeSnowman: Man, that would look great in my living room.
:heartMiles: Hey, we should do a Trading Spaces.
:pointsSnowman: NO.
:heartMiles: Come on, it'll be fun! You can redo my bathroom, and I'll do your living room.
:squintSnowman: Yeah, that's totally how I want to spend my day off: Fixing your bathroom while Navy SEAL Sheen turns my living room into a bad '80s movie.
:pointsMiles: It, uh... It came out in the '90s.
:furySnowman: It still doesn't change the fact that Bill Paxton wasn't in it!
*Bob shoots Steve multiple times, then revives him.*
:furySnowman: YOU SHOT ME! YOU FUCKING SHOT ME!
:pointsMiles: And I revived you, so shut up.

*Five minutes later, Steve is standing in a security room, in front of a computer.*
:pointsSnowman: Listen, let's just finish the mission and I'll forget you-
*He turns to Bob, and sees that he has a guard in a chokehold.*
:pointsSnowman: Who is that?
:gleeMiles: Hey, buddy. Was Bill Paxton in Navy SEALs?
:confuzzledMiles: Oh, you don't want to talk?
:furyMiles: Well, maybe this will refresh your memory. *He shoots the computer.*
:furySnowman: What's wrong with you?!
:pointsMiles: Just go grab the Vice President so we can go.
*Steve leaves the room.*

:heartMiles: I'm glad we're alone. My partner just doesn't understand how romantic time alone with an insignificant guard can be.
*Bob dances with the guard. Well, dances as well as somebody can when they're holding their partner in a chokehold. Meanwhile, Steve sneaks into the Vice President's bedroom and grabs him.*
:pointsSnowman: Just take it easy, Mr. Vice President. Everything will be alright. We don't want to hurt you.
:heartMiles: You're a wonderful dancer. I can- I can tell you enjoy this. The look on your face says it all.
*Steve drags the Vice President into the room and looks at Bob.*
:furySnowman: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
:dropMiles: Nothing.
:pointsSnowman: Right.
:pointsMiles: Can we just do this? *Smells the guard's hair.*
:blushMiles: Your hair smells like ginger.
*They shove the guard and Vice President's faces into the retinal scanners next to the door they need to get through. A couple minutes later, they're standing behind a guard at a desk.*

:gleeSnowman: Alright, it's Navy SEALs time. *He throws Bob at the guard.*
:pointsSnowman: So just don't break- *Bob slams into the guard, and the guard's face smashes through the computer monitor that was on the desk.*
:squintSnowman: The computer.
:dropMiles: Dude, that was NOT my fault.

*Another few minutes later, they're in a loading bay under the mansion. Bob runs up to a computer and checks something on it.*
:gleeMiles: Hey, look. Bill Paxton WAS in Navy SEALs. IMDb says-
*In an interesting show of turnabout, Steve shoots the computer.*
:furyMiles: Hey!
:pointsSnowman: We're almost out of here. Just down that tunnel.
:gleeMiles: Which Navy SEAL are you?
:gleeSnowman: Well... I guess I'll be Bill Paxton.
*Steve runs down the tunnel, but gets shot by an automated turret.*
:amazeMiles: Steve?! Steve, I'm coming! Steve?!
:furyMiles: NAVY SEALS! *He charges down the tunnel and gets shot, too.*

MISSION FAILED

Join us next time, when Steve and Bob disarm more terrorists with their amazing cunning and stealth.

*In an office building, Bob and Steve are sneaking over a cubicle-like area.*
:pointsSnowman: So I say to her "Lady, if you wanted the parking space so bad, you should-"
:amazeSnowman: WHOA!
*Steve wasn't watching where he was going, so he fell.*
 

MrAMP

No. 1 Fun Guy
Moderator
Apr 17, 2011
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Personal Text
Too much TMI...Too much TMI!!!
Observational humor is amazing unless you end up like Mr. AMP in this all new The Random Moment.
Featuring :crySnowman: EXPLOSION!!! as Mr. AMP and everyone else as themselves.
In: Nudist

*After a random conversation on a LiveStream, Mr. AMP thinks out loud.*
:gleeSnowman: Hm...Now that I think about this out loud, I can't help but notice that Angel is appearing more in more in the nude or taking off her clothes.
:amazeSnowman: OMG!!! It all makes sense now!!!

:squintSnowman: Her constantly appearing in the nude....Her constantly taking off her clothes...Her painting herself and others in the nude.
:gleeSnowman: This can only lead to one logic conclusion...
:shadesSnowman: That Angel is a nudist!
:sadAngel:

:happySnowman: And since Angel is a rabbit, that means that all rabbits are nudist!
:pointsAngel: Ahem...

*Mr. AMP turns around to see Angel in some sort of trench coat.*
:amazeSnowman: AAAHHHHH!!!
:crySnowman: How much of that did you hear?

:pointsAngel: All of it. And I have to say...
*Angel tosses her trench coat to reveal her nude body.*
:gleeAngel: That you're absolutely right. I am a nudist!

*Mr. AMP's jaw drops.*
:pointsSnowman:
:amazeSnowman: WHAT!?

:blushAngel: And so are all my rabbit friends.
:heartAngel: Isn't that right Taffy.

*Taffy comes out of the corner wearing nothing but an apron that's covering her bottom half. She's also holding a tray of cookies.*
:XDTaffy: It sure is.
:happyTaffy: Also, I made cookies.

:amazeSnowman: *Mr. AMP's jaw remains opened.*
:heartAngel: Thanks hun bun. That should be plenty for our guests too.

*At that moment, Anna and Tiare come walking in topless. Ann is wearing her incredible cut blue shorts and Tiare is wearing her yellow bikini.*
:heartAnn: Thanks for inviting us to this shindig.
:dropTiare: I...I don't know why i agreed to this.

:amazeSnowman: *Mr. AMP's jaw continues to remain opened until he finally speaks.*
:squintSnowman: ****...This is so **** hot...

SFX: EXPLOSION
*Mr. AMP's head explodes.*
:amazeAngel: :amazeAnn: :wutTiare: :amazeTaffy: :wutTaffy:

:cryAnn: OH MY STARS!!!
:wutTiare: Angel! I thought you said he would faint!!!
:dropAngel: I didn't know this would happen.
:cryTaffy: I don't know any of you.
 
Last edited:

MrAMP

No. 1 Fun Guy
Moderator
Apr 17, 2011
5,979
1,589
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Personal Text
Too much TMI...Too much TMI!!!
I can honestly say from personal experience, most nudists aren't sexy. I used to spend my summers at nudist camps and beaches. It's mostly senior citizens and kids.
:amazeSnowman: WHAT!?
:furySnowman: Are you telling me there's no hot nude women at these nudist beaches!?
:crySnowman: You made Mr. AMP sad now...
:gleeSnowman: This more depressing than the time I visited Caribbean Blue.
:squintSnowman: Seriously, it's hard to hit on someone when you can't tell what they look like or what gender or age they are.

*In a bar somewhere in Caribbean Blue, Mr. AMP is randomly hitting on people.*
Attempt #1
:handsomeSnowman: Hey there babe.
:gleeSnowman: How about you and me paint this town white.
:pointsSnowman:
:squintSnowman: I'm a dude.
:amazeSnowman: GAH!!!

Attempt #2
:handsomeSnowman: Hey there sweet thing.
:gleeSnowman: How about we tango out of here...to your place.
:pointsSnowman:
:squintSnowman: I'm a seven-year-old girl.
:amazeSnowman: GAH!!!

Attempt #3
:handsomeSnowman: Hello officer.
:gleeSnowman: How about you lock me up and throw away the keys.
:dropAlice:
:dropAlice: Aren't you the guy that was hitting on a seven-year-old girl?
:squintSnowman: Uh....

SFX: SLAM
*Alice walks away as she slams the cell door shut on Mr. AMP.*
:crySnowman: Why me?
:happySnowman: Well, at least this can't get--

*A stranger emerges from the shadows.*
:furySnowman: Don't turn around.
:amazeSnowman: GAH--
:pointsSnowman: Wait a minute...
:happySnowman: Should I be scared or excited?

 

MrAMP

No. 1 Fun Guy
Moderator
Apr 17, 2011
5,979
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USA
Personal Text
Too much TMI...Too much TMI!!!
Why was there a seven year old girl in a bar? XD
Yeah, this is easily the darkest thing you've ever done, Mr. AMP. I think I might be some kind of impressed.
Well, the seven-year-old girl was actually a reference to The Game Plan, featuring Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson. I actually watched it due to the freaking snow...why did it have to snow!? T_T
 

Merrick Rose

Katbox Forum Member
Apr 20, 2007
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Tuscaloosa, AL
Personal Text
I like the way you die, boy.
When America needs a hero...

When freedom stands alone...

When justice needs to be upheld... There's only one place to turn.

Through the cover of night, America's top agents will defend our liberty from those who wish us harm.

Let us join Special Agent Bob... :gleeMiles:

And Secret Agent Steve. :gleeSnowman:

Two of the finest official unofficial Splinter Cells.

Splinter Cell Co-Op Theater: Episode Two

*Bob is watching TV at his and Steve's apartment, and the show that's on right now shows an armored warrior.*
:gleeSnowman: What are you watching?
:heartMiles: Grabnar the Wanderer!
*On the TV, Grabnar raises his axe over his head and screams a battle cry.*
:pointsSnowman: What?
:gleeMiles: Yeah. Grabnar is a medieval monk with the powers of the god, Keniethan. He wanders from town to town.
:gleeSnowman: Doing what?
:pointsMiles: Mainly killing people.

*After getting their next assignment, Bob and Steve leave the apartment, though Bob is walking a little too close to Steve.*
:pointsSnowman: Could you, uh... Give me a little room, Bob?
:gleeMiles: Actually, you can call me...
:furyMiles: Thor-Axe the Impaler!
:squintSnowman: What?
:gleeMiles: It's cool, huh?
:confuzzledMiles: Do you like that or do you like Ramrod the Destroyer?
:squintSnowman: ...Are you retarded?

*A day later, they've snuck into a missle base, and Steve is preparing to rappel down to the bottom of a silo.*
:pointsSnowman: Look. Your name is Bob and I'm calling you Bob.
:confuzzledMiles: Who is this "Bob" that you speak of, fellow wanderer?
:squintSnowman: You've got to be kidding me.
:gleeMiles: Thor-Axe the Impaler never speaks in jest.
:pointsSnowman: Bob, would you just help me rappel down?
:pointsMiles: Thor-Axe.
:furySnowman: For God's sake, we have to job a do. The government is depending on us and you do this shit all the time.
:heartMiles: You have spirit, little one. I will call you Steve the Vagina.
:squintSnowman: Listen, Thor-Axe. Just lower the rope.
*He does so.*
:gleeMiles: Fare thee well, you angry little gnome.
*Steve rappels down.*
:squintSnowman: I hope Grabnar smites you.

*A couple minutes later...*
:gleeMiles: Lord of the skies! It is I, Thor-Axe! Hear my call!
:pointsSnowman: You realize that the thorax is a part of an insect, right?
:gleeMiles: No! You see, I spell it T-H-O-R-
:pointsMiles: Hyphen-A-X-E. It's totally different.
:gleeSnowman: Alright, lower the rope.
:furyMiles: Thor-Axe the Impaler bows before no man! FEEL MY POWER! *He tosses something down the silo.*
:furySnowman: Did you just throw-?!
*It's a flashbang, and it nearly blinds Steve when it goes off.*
:amazeSnowman: AUGH!!! GODDAMMIT!
:furyMiles: Submit to my will, and you will be saved! Challenge me and you will be destroyed!
:crySnowman: What is wrong with you?! *Stumbles around with blurry eyesight.*
:furyMiles: *Throws another flashbang, and it blows up.*
:amazeSnowman: AUGH!
:furySnowman: ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?!
:furyMiles: SUBMIT TO MY WILL!
:furySnowman: Jesus! Okay, okay! I submit to your will!
:gleeMiles: And... Whose will is that?
:pointsSnowman: Thor-Axe the Impaler!
:heartMiles: Good. And who is submitting?
:squintSnowman: Please don't.
:furyMiles: Would you like another bolt from a god, mortal? What is your name?!
:squintSnowman: Steve.
:pointsMiles: Steve what?
:squintSnowman: ....Steve the Vagina.
:gleeMiles: You may ascend. *He lowers the rope, and after Steve climbs back up...*
:pointsSnowman: I swear to god, if I didn't need to get out of here, I'd kill you.
:dropMiles: Oh, come on. It was a joke.
:furySnowman: You threw fucking grenades at me!
:dropMiles: They were flash grenades! I wouldn't throw REAL grenades at you.
:pointsMiles: I mean, come on. That would just be stupid.

*Five minutes later, they've snuck into a heavily-guarded building on the base, and are hiding in a dark room with three guards down the hallway.*
:confuzzledMiles: Steve?
:pointsSnowman: What?
:dropMiles: Are you mad?
:pointsSnowman: No. Now, there's a ton of guards out there, so shut up and get down.
:furyMiles: Thor-Axe the Impaler hides from no man! *Runs out of the room.*
:furySnowman: Bob, DON'T!
*Bob easily dispatches all three guards as Steve catches up to him.*
:amazeSnowman: Wow! It worked!
:furyMiles: Thor-Axe impales all!

*Ten minutes later, they're hiding in a secret hangar.*
:pointsSnowman: If it worked once, it could again, so...
:gleeSnowman: Let's just run out there and kill them.
:furySnowman: NAVY SEALS! *Jumps down from their hiding spot, tries to rush the guards, and promptly gets shot to death. Bob sighs before he jumps down as well, and revives him.*
:dropMiles: And that is why they call you Steve the Vagina.
:furySnowman: What the hell?! You were supposed to back me up!
:pointsMiles: Thor-Axe the Impaler knows not to fight when he cannot win.
*They put up a decent fight against the guards but are killed, nevertheless.*

MISSION FAILED

Join us next time, when Steve and Bob disarm more terrorists with their amazing cunning and stealth.

*Bob and Steve are running around in a room with large plastic sheets in it.*
:happySnowman: Whee!
:heartMiles: Yeah! It's like being in a carwash!
:happySnowman: I wish we were soapy and wet!
:blushMiles: Way ahead of you, buddy.
:squintSnowman: *Quietly backs out of the room.*
:confuzzledMiles: Hey, Steve? Steve, where you going?
:dropMiles: Steve? Are you mad?
 

Eradose

Outside contributer, not comunuty member.
Jun 1, 2009
4,256
320
www.furaffinity.net
Well, I guess I should tell everyone that Anna's Dating Service has a secondary, more devious function.


Victim 4.png I know Chrissy is in this city somewhere. When I'm done with her...

Victim 2.png What's this? A dating service?

Victim 4.png Well, I guess I could use a bit of fun.


gleeanna.gif Hello, and welcome to my dating service. Looking for a girlfriend?

Victim 4.png Sort of...

blushanna.gif Oh, I see. A little wham, bam, thank you sir, right?

Victim 4.png You know it.

gleeanna.gif Anything in... particular you're looking for?

blushanna.gif Like large breasts, great curves, and being a complete nympho?

Victim 4.png Now you're talking my language. Of course, I highly doubt you'd fit that bill.

furyanna.gif

pointsanna.gif (Calm down... It's for the job.)

blushanna.gif Don't worry, I have the perfect match for you...


*Anna hits a button, and steel shutters slam over the counter, doors, and windows.*


Victim 3.png What the hell?! What's going on?! Do you know who I fucking am?!

pointsanna.gif Yeah. Lunch.


*Another set of steel door open, and a very large monster comes out.*




Victim 1.png WHAT THE HELL?! DO NOT WANT! DO NOT WANT!


*The monster drags Cody off into the shadows. Anna then picks up her phone.*


pointsanna.gif Eliza, it's me. Yeah, it's done. Fell for the bait just like you thought he would.

dropanna.gif What happens now? Well, there's only a 5% chance he could die, but a good 90% chance of a crushed pelvis.

pointsanna.gif Don't forget, you owe me big time for this. Do you know how hard it is to catch an Ushi-Oni?

blushanna.gif No... thank you. Bye.
 

Eradose

Outside contributer, not comunuty member.
Jun 1, 2009
4,256
320
www.furaffinity.net
You are the freaking Devil, Anna. Remind me to never piss you off.
Jay: That was sheer brilliance Anna, like Merrick said remind me not to get in your bad side.
Well, keep in mind that Eliza put her up to this, and there are certain things Anna has no tolerance for. Jackasses who try to forcefully whore out their girlfriends for personal amusement/gain is pretty high up there.[DOUBLEPOST=1391750650,1391620953][/DOUBLEPOST](Last time)


:confuzzledQuick: I'm still confused Anna. Why do you need my help setting up Miles and Rachael?

pointsanna.gif It's all part of my plan, which I will discuss in detail at a later date. For now, just know I have you on retainer, and you will be compensated for your work.

:confuzzledQuick: Compensated?

dropanna.gif Your parents cut you off, right? Well, until you land a job, I may be able to pay you... 500 gold. The exchange rate I think would be around $1,000

:amazeQuick: What?! I wouldn't need to work for two weeks with that kind of cash.

:confuzzledQuick: Although I need to question where you plan to get that.

dropanna.gif Oh, never you mind. We dragons keep many secrets.

:shockedQuick: Now I REALLY want to know. You're not planning to steal it, are you?

pointsanna.gif Dungeon raid. Last week.

:shockedQuick: Okay then...